“The first hug in the morning is the best part of being a dad.”
For Alexander and Ben, that daily embrace is a reminder of why they endured a challenging journey to parenthood. The couple, who now live in Menifee, California, met 12 years ago working on a cruise ship—Alexander was a Cruise Director, and Ben was the Dance Captain. Their shared love for theatre, travel, and family has shaped their lives ever since.
After a three-year surrogacy process that included navigating the pandemic, working with two egg donors, and partnering with seven surrogates, Alexander and Ben welcomed their daughter, Zara, into their lives. “The hardest part was creating our family,” they reflect, acknowledging the emotional and logistical challenges they faced. Despite those hurdles, they wouldn’t change a thing.
Now, life as a family revolves around shared passions like theatre, Disney trips, and even enjoying some "bad TV" together. But like many working parents, being away from Zara during the day is the hardest part. That’s why they cherish every moment, especially those morning hugs and the little joys that come with fatherhood.
Moving from London to a conservative area in California has presented its own challenges. “We might be the only gays here,” they admit, sharing stories of stares and performative smiles when they’re out as a family. Yet, their bond remains strong. Alexander offers this advice to other gay men considering parenthood: “Just do it. But you have to be strong as a couple before you even think about bringing a child into your house.”
Follow the dads here: @2_gays_and_a_little_lady